Youd never get it
How intense all of it felt
The feeling of one I didnt want pressed against my back with arms wrapped around me
The relief i felt when an old friend came to talk and gave me room to breathe
However I was still locked in place
Unable to refuse a sloppy meeting of lips
The horrible longing for someone speeding right by you
Knowing him
The desire was always there before
Like a spark
That grew into flames when I saw him
That exploded into a raging forest fire last night
Trying to figure out the expression on his face
Concentration?
Sadness?
What?
I could never figure him out
I also heard bad things last night
I didnt know what to make of them
Had I been lied to?
Trying to figure it out
Listening
But I cant
Blaring speakers and noisemakers
Combined with a desperate grab for my attention
Arms like chains around my body
A plea not to listen
Not to look
Dont tell me what to do
I'm not yours
Can you people stop assuming that?
I told him I didnt like kissing you
I didnt like any of it
I thought thatd make him feel better
But it only felt as if he was running away
Why run away
And text me as soon as he arrived home
Apologizing again
It's all so intense
I might cry again
I miss him
I dont want to
I dont want anything