I don't recognise you, your face is blurred in my thoughts.
do I still love you or am I feeling guilt?
sometimes I think I'll never stop loving you.
or maybe its the feeling.
you were my first
first love
first real friend
first person I made a home in and I overstayed my welcome.
maybe I took advantage of your hospitality?
maybe we both got ahead of ourselves?
maybe I shouldn't even be writing this.

You don't deserve my words, you don't deserve to live in my thoughts.
do I still love you or is it hate?
do I only think about you running to me so I can push you away?
so I can rip your heart out like you did mine?
so I can tell you how much better I am without you?

I don't recognise you, I've forgotten what you look like.
I remember I loved your smile.
I remember you held me when I was broken.
I remember you broke me.
I remember you told me we'd be together.
I remember when you said you wouldn't care if this was the last time you saw me.

how can I hate someone who taught me the meaning of love?
how can I love the person who let our love die?

how can I ever love again, the way I loved you.