What happened
to the girl with fire
in her eyes and passion
in her soul?
With stubbornness stirring
in her stomach and
lightning coursing through her body?
Who so effortlessly slid
into the persona of someone else
but managed to keep that special
fire with her anyways?
hmmm?
What happened to the girl
who used to cry when
her favorite character
died?
Who hid that deep sorrow
and wisdom beneath
teenage slang and boy advice?
What happened to the girl
who danced
through life like she didn’t have a care
in the world?

who is this girl?
who don’t care what they say anymore.
who gives up.
whose eyes stay dry when her people leave.
who is numb but at the same time feels too much.
who talks like her mouth is filled with honey but is begging you to notice that her eyes are filled with vinegar.

they say.
they say that she has finally calmed down.
they say it like it is a good thing.
they say that she is finally mature.
more responsible.
an adult.
knows when to give up.
is smarter.

but I?
I?
I rock there.
back and forth.
back and forth.
back and forth.
fists banging on the ground.
trapped.
whispering softly
between my
quiet sobs.
“what happened?”
“what happened?”
“what happened?”