ev'ry "holiday,"
birthday,
all in sum,
my soul feels
cold, it feels
so numb.

as they pass
i stand and
applaud,
it brings me
closer and
closer
to God.

my company
sits in misery,
i suggest you
stay away.
this wretched
soul forever
in battle with
torture,
will never
be okay.

alone i aspire
to be ....

because
truthfully,

the only one
that can
make me happy
is me.

my
everlasting
inward war
is something
of which,
i will never
be free.