I thought I was over this
-- Done with the pain
Of losing a father
A man who wasn’t even a dad
And even less of one
Than I had previously thought --
But grief is a tricky thing
It presents itself
When everything seems
To be going well
For once.

You left me
For good
A long time ago
And your memory left, too
But it’s taunting me again
With thoughts
And questions
Of what might have been
If you were a different person
And if I was who you had hoped I was
But knew I wasn’t
Or if you had been
Content enough
To continue living.

I truly believe
It’s best that you left
Permanently
But I can’t help
Wondering.