Everything I do
It's all wrapped up in you
It's like our thoughts are on the same baking sheet, running together as the heat increases
Forming one big lump of something delicious
I was just trying to finagle my way into getting there
And now you're going
Alone
Alone for a whole month
Maybe you'll be better when you're back
Maybe you'll want me around again
I understand needing space but you clearly aren't living in solitude
That's what hurts I guess
The other people you're surrounding yourself with
You'd rather them, than me
They've been toxic for years
I've been a salve for the last one
I'm still confused
I'm still sad
I will probably still cry for hours and make bad decisions with even worse people
You won't be there when I need you because I'll be too scared to talk to you when I can't handle life
I won't want you there when I cry because I'll be crying over you
Over
and
Over
and over.
The memories replay in my mind
No more late night excursions into further knowing each other and wandering around never getting lost because you always know where you are.
No more late night talks about anything.
No more I love yous.
No more texts that make me laugh in inappropriate situations.
No more small encouragements when I feel at my worst.
I miss you like you're gone. Even though I know you're not.