I grasp at air fighting my anxiety I pray to myself that "I won't, I won't let this happen!"

all a while the voice in the back of my head is reminding me "That's not your choice, You can't run.... nobody can help you escape."

But I ignored the voice that felt sorry for me and continued to tell myself that YOU wouldn't come back and IF YOU did well... I-i..-I would just run away!

But  of course that didn't happen, bounded by my will to exist and my physical limitations I'm stuck here.

I finally aloud myself to be happy, you couldn't shove dumb **** down my throat, you couldn't slowly **** me day by day with your "I love you's" while you yelled at my tired mother, while you beat my tired mother!

You've driven me insane you've emotionally scared me.... leaving me bleeding for days. I keep clinging to this idea that I have power and can control this life o' mine but I can't I have no power