you brushed my hair back from my forehead and whispered,
"why are you crying?"
"i don't know." i said.
how could i tell you it was because
everything about being near you was wrong?
how could i tell you that ever since i've known you
i've felt like you tried to take everything that was good in me
or maybe i gave too much away without thinking,
and now i feel like a shell of a human being?
how could i tell you that the reason i keep coming back to you
has nothing to do with me caring about you in any way
and has everything to do with the fact that i'm too weak to feel worthwhile
when being on my own?
how could i tell you that you owe me a million apologies without
you accusing me of how many things i've done wrong?
how could i tell you to let me go right now
without you asking me to list valid reasons why?
how could i tell you that my heart is tired, that i can't
do this anymore,
that the act of collapsing into your paper-cut arms is easier
than admitting i'm not okay?

"i don't know." is all
i can say.