I used to want to lose a ton of weight,
And not healthily either.
I wanted to just shed off the pounds
From my stomach,
My legs.
I hated myself.

I finally got over it though.
I lost a bit of weight healthily,
Changed for the good of myself.
But then I read what was going in in my mind back then,
Everything changed again.

I want to throw up so much,
The thoughts are back.
I want to numb the pain,
Drown some pills.
To the point of no return.
I'm turning to dust,
I want to lose the weight I've gained,
Not only on my body
But in my mind.
I'm suffering from
Death.
It pulls me back and forth
It wants me there
But first it wants to me to lose
The excess weight.

I guess I should, huh?

It wouldn't be fair to
God
Or
The devil
Right?
No, not at all.
Who could love
Or even hate
Someone
So
Fat.