A selection of limericks

There was a young lass from the Bronx
Whose ******* make fearful honks
She sounds like a car
When she puts on a bra
And the geese gather round when she bonks

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Father Alexander McMackett
Ran a ruthless religious racket
When taking collection
He'd offer protection
Salvation could cost you a packet  
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A carrot named Archibald Nation
Had feathers in high numeration
He was labelled as veg
By a grocer called Reg
With a dubious qualification

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A sculptor named Arnold Duprees 
Carved a ******* from parmesan cheese
He lamented his luck
When it melted and stuck
But he fired it out with a sneeze

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Knights in the armour of old
Have little to keep out the cold
For they dress as the Scots
In thier tenderest spots
Which encourages rust and then mould

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Oh ***** you make my knees quiver 
You chemical lethargy giver
You tickle my tongue
And pickle my brain
Then you jump up and down on my liver

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A Fella named Ricky De Gaul
Had seventeen ******* in all
They called him De Chesty
But with only one *****
It should have been Ricky De Ball