4.

I hate the phrase "getting over you"
Because that's not quite what I want to do
It implies that you are an obstacle to be overcome
As if it is possible not to succumb
To the proof of the truth that I'm struggling to live without
You

The evidence is everywhere
Even when I'm trying not to look
Whenever I try not to care
It's like opening a book
That I've read ten thousand times
And still pretend not to know the words to

And whenever I decide to give it thought
To figure out this puzzleknot
Of complex feelings in my brain
Of relief confusion sadness pain
I just remember I was never a scout
And I **** at tying knots
So I'm not sure that I've got the right tools for this job
Or what they even are

But
There's a beauty in the chaos
And we can appreciate the overwhelmed
Anger is clutched in the fist of relief
Clarity in the mist of confusion
Sadness is walking alongside the grief
And there's pain in every happy protusion

Every curve of the puzzleknot
Is composed of both the "haves" and "nots"
And abandoning a single twist
Would mean abandoning the entire lot

Which I'm not going to do.

You
can
have one without the other
But perspective here is key
If you begin to unwind one
You undo another three

From the highest mountains you can see the majesty below
And from the darkest valleys there's only one way you can go
And either one
could
exist without the other's view
But the promise of a change in scenery
Is one that I hold to.

So I'll take my puzzleknot
And put in on a shelf
And every time I look at it
I'll just remind myself

That even though I know the story
Know the twists and turns
Every single crooked glory
Is something I have earned.

Living in the space between
And acknowledging the truth
There's no being us
or loving me,
Without me loving you.