I’ve been searching for
what I didn’t get.
As a kid,
would talk to strangers
with no fear.
Teachers couldn’t get me
to stop talking.

No one can get
close enough.
I always want to be closer.
Is that enmeshment
or love?

In high school,
I found people like me.
At 18,
I always had people to call,
so I would never have to be
alone at night.
Maybe it wasn’t
real friendship,
but it was better than nothing.

As a kid,
being alone in the house
felt like death.
Still,
without attention,
I feel like I’m dying.
If I don’t get love
when I need it,
I must be unlovable.
What’s the point of living
without love?

Lack of love
is the slowest way to die.