Atonement ain’t happened if it still feels bad to think about it, man.  And it still feels bad for me all the time, no matter what the  gray beard veterans say, with their stupid caps full of pins and ******' hair growin' out of their ears, or what ******' pill they give me.  It feels so bad I ***** if I don't get my mind on to something else.  And look how skinny I am.  I'm fading away.

I don’t care what that ****** they sent us said.  Talk to my wife.  Yeah, right! He can go back to his clinic or wherever he came from and stop pretending he understands us.

You ain’t never going to shake off that memory, so stop trying - I'm thinking now.  You got to live with it.  Live with what you done.  Live with it till you die, and ****, possibly even after you die.  You got to forgive yourself to live with it now and get God to forgive you if you don’t want to carry it over.  Know what I’m tryin’ to say?  The God part is easy, Chaplain said.  My part ain't workin'.  Is yours?

That "pretending to be cool" guy was a ******' idiot.
You know who I really need to talk to?  The devil.  I'd beg Satan to give me my punishment and then set me free to live for a change.  I can't get that job done on my own.  The devil may be the only ****** that can fix me.  I don't care what he'd do.  I think the more he burned my ***, the better it would feel.  When he was done punishing me,  satisfied and smiling, I'd call it all even then, and give whatever was left of me permission to live.  Permission to look forward instead of backward all the time.

I'm supposed to tell this **** to my wife?  I'd like to see her face.  She's barely hanging on now.