I am the human condition

I have no self confidence,
Yet i have a massive ego.

I want to turn my life around,
Yet i want to die.

I want people to think that i have no weakness,
Yet all I want to do is cry.

I want to be the best at everything,
But i don't want to try.

I want to stop hurting myself,
But that's all I seem to do.

I don't want people seeing my scars,
Yet I want them to know I'm scarred.

When I wake up I want to be happy,
But I don't want to wake up anymore.