every year
  since his
father's
    passing,
he seemingly
   has only
gotten worse
    not better.

withdrawing,
     retreating
  himself deeper
inward and
  furthering
himself away
    from every
normal
  societal
celebration,
    everything
and everyone.

intentionally  
  destroying
himself privately
    at least,
  away from
the eyes
    of others.

he desperately reaches
  for hope
within Jesus
   every day
but not even
  Jesus can
give him hope
  on his
"i don't want
   to be here"
days.

he sees things
  much too
clearly about
    life that
his troubled
  mind refuses
to be persuaded
  with mere
fractions of
   happiness.

his eyes
  absolutely know
what they see
  and his heart
absolutely knows
what it feels.

which,
   leaves his
soul wrought
   with pain
      and wound
after wound...
  
deeper and
  deeper these
wounds plunge...

  the bleeding
is becoming
    uncontrollable
  inside...

he's running
  out of
tourniquets.