I finally quit smoking cigarettes. I'm sorry that I made you unhappy, but at the time that was me giving my best shot, putting my best foot forward, at love. Speaking of love, there are so many things I've learned that I would love to share with you. Each time I learn a lesson I think to myself, "I can't wait to tell him this one" until I realize I can't. Because I won't. Because its not the right time. I've had a lot of time on my hands. Have you ever felt that? The weight of time on your hands? It's slow and it's heavy, and sometimes it hurts too much to carry. I'm not alone anymore. I have too many ghosts circulating my veins and sitting on the front porch of my mind to be lonely. But you, I make room for you. In the back of my head, close to the nape of my neck, the place you used to grab with your hand when you pulled me in for a kiss..... that is where I keep you. I wish I could keep you. I wish I could take you away from this god forsaken place and take the next flight to Russia. Remember that time we spinned the globe, closed our eyes, and randomly pointed to a place that we would go together someday? I don't even remember the name of the place. And that makes me wonder if you remember me at all. But here's something I'll never forget. I'll never forget that you loved me, even if you did. And maybe one day you'll wake up one morning look across the street and realize I'm exactly what you need, and I'm ready to be that person. Or maybe every morning you wake up I fade farther and farther away from your heart. Either way, everything will be fine. There is a theory that our Universe may be just one of the many in an infinite "Multiverse" in which every possible event is played out somewhere. I'm sure in at least one of them, we're loving eachother.