I can't help but question and ask what if.. I can't help it when I cry because it is you I miss.
I can't help the times you pop into my head, the nights I dream of you when I am in his bed.

Our love is disgusting, manipulative, and painful.
The things we have done to each other is down right shameful.

So why do I harp on you and that trauma we cause one another?
Why do I still feel like we just need each other?

I crave the torment, the insecurity and fights.
I crave them as much as I crave the peaceful nights.

I miss all the smiles, tears, and scars we've exchanged.
I miss loving someone else who was just as deranged.