Vent after vent, constantly being told "I feel you"
But do you really? Do you really feel me?
Do you know how it feels to be a burden upon your own family?
To have everyone you love and care for, be gone...
In just a single moment?
To consciously be afraid of the past, the present, the future
But you know YOU feel me, so tell me, what can I do besides just own it?
I need help.

Day after day, I'm told "be grateful, you have everything"
But when will you put it together
That I am grateful
That graciousness is not mixed with depressiveness
I just need help.

Minute after minute, I'm told "the time is ticking
The age is blinking
The seconds are slipping"
And I
I'm simply lost
I just need help.

It's like I'm screaming for assistance but there is nobody around to hear me
I'm trapped in my own body
The words coming out of my mouth do not match the thoughts going through my head
The values in my brain do not match the ones in my heart
I'm easily mistaken
The world awakens
And I
I am unshaken
I just need help.

- 10/15/18