Is it a problem that I sometimes can't stand people
being around them
Having always been a social person i parents do not quite understand this
they mutter to themselves, roll there eyes at me and sometimes even look at the ceiling
I cannot quite explain this but i do understand when it all started
I am OK with being this version of me
Do not get me wrong
I am not evil nor demented in anyway
I care
I help
I sympathize
But sometimes I shut down too
from the chatter of too many people in a room
too many around me
The noise
the lights
the looks
it all becomes to much sometimes
I don't care what they say about me and my so called eccentric behavior
I care more about what i think about myself
I go to sleep with my own problems i am constantly working on myself
how to remain calm in unforgiving situations
how to exert discipline when things feel overwhelming
how to stay positive but also realistic when i feel like giving up
how to avoid useless chatter toxic people and bad vibes
I prefer my own company over others
like to spend time on my own
i cant say what i am trying to avoid by doing so
Disappointment
heartbreak
or compensation for lost time
given to those who really didn't deserve it in the first place because they did not bother to stick around when I needed someone