Blood on the bedsheets
razors under my pillow
nightmares crossing my mind
so I cut them up...
but look down and its
on my skin instead
red lines dripping down.

reaching for you but missing completely
red lines I found hidden on myself.
I knew I shouldve read closer.

I was so used to the hurting feeling,
feeling good and wanting more.
Life outside of it never crossed my mind.
the bible always by my side
still unopened.
I should've tried,
Laying there lifeless,
but physically alive.

Singing worship,
I'd remembered the words wrong
Because while discarded everywhere around me,
the knives sang their songs.