"i am writing to hold onto you." - henrikka tavi

i realized the truth within this as i flipped through
the journal pages that screamed your name aloud
at me as i sat trying to forget, and whispered of our
endeavors as i lay trying to sweep everything under
the unconscious rug that lay beneath me as i dreamed

you were every where in these parts of my life, riding
up abel and turning onto fourth, i couldn't forget that you
had grown up, a decade before me, just a block over on south,
deli boy and bianchi's pizza, sundays spent at st.cecelia's,
me, a little girl, and you, trying to figure out how to be a man,
here we are fifteen years later, me, a little girl, and you,
still trying to figure out just what it takes to be a man

ink immortalizes what we are terrified to throw into the trenches,
and just because i have vowed to find victories elsewhere
doesn't mean i've prepared myself to forget you, but the truth remains,

i must learn to write to let go