(I want this poem
to voice a kind of intricacy
that is currently inside me)

I fear failure
I fear obstacles
I fear death

I fear that all of this
is just a way for me to learn
to settle and accept

I fear that God might whisper
for me to remain
abide

My depression
my troubles
my paranoia…

Have I not had enough?
Have I not moved on?
Have I not been caged–

What are you going to do to me?
Why can’t I make peace with
my anxiety?

Should I alter my perception?
Am I only trapped
in my mind?

This shouldn’t be an excuse
to make a run
‘tis not comprised of my exhaustion

but I’ve read
I’ve bled
and I’ve dreamed

and I know my departure
is to see
not to flee

Am I just convincing myself?
What is this coyness?
What is this pretense?

What are you going to do to me?
Why can’t I make peace with
my anxiety?

I beg you
and please, I plead
for you to remind me

The reasoning behind my leaving
is to see
and not to flee…