Cigarette burning… we glanced at each in one of those ways that forces you to instinctively look away…to hide the confusion, the love, the pain, the disappointments, but even that chilling thrill of being on the very edge. It’s was one of those looks that rips you apart and leaves you bare naked. It pushes you to let yourself go…to give into temptation. Each blink felt like a minute of sweet torture, our fingers nervously twitched not sure whether to clinch onto the skin down to the bone, leaving a trace behind, or to remain transfixed. The way he looks at me automatically makes me want to grasp onto his hair and watch his head tilt backwards as his eyes invert.
The cigarette had burned out now and the smoke was nothing but a vacant memory. I cannot say I felt the tobacco rush, but I still feel his eyes on my skin.. they were asking questions, answering questions, I saw a spark of immense desire and the shame for wanting it in the first place. Our bodies were so close we could hear every emotion almost as if we were guests in each other’s heads… yet our tongues were tied in nots, so we let our eyes speak. My hand looked for his hand craving his warmth and the spaces between his fingers…he teased me by pulling away just a tiny bit to test how far I’d go.. his fingers ran through my hair as he took a long breath opening his lungs to the herbal scent of my shampoo. From the corner of my eye I could see his lips curving into a cheeky smile, perhaps because in the back of his mind he remembered all the times I wore nothing but that scent..I knew that for a second the world had stopped spinning and we were back in that stillness where our souls were intertwined…and at that moment he didn’t need to see with his eyes open anymore.