Why do my eyes remain dry as my world crumbles to bits?
Because I hate crying,
Because it's easier not to feel,
Because I've built up too many shields.
So, I rarely let that side show,
I hardly show my pain,
At least in that way.
If you knew me well enough you could see my pain clearly visible
In the expression on my face,
Or the irritation that I show,
Or the amount of people I think about killing.

I hate that I don't cry.
I hate that I can think about my grandfather dying of cancer
And never shed a tear.
But I also hate that I can cry
I hate the feeling that I'm choking whenever a sob fills my throat
And tears fill my eyes.

I don't think I can change this.
I've hidden myself away behind too many locked doors
And thrown away all the keys.
My heart of ice may never thaw, at least not completely.
But then again, maybe I can change this.
Maybe it's subconscious and I'm doing it right now.
Perhaps I'm just done with all the bottled up pain
And now I'm finally letting it go.
Whatever the case may be,
I'd rather just not feel.
I'd rather things didn't affect me,
But this is the curse of mankind
And no matter how much I say otherwise,
I am and will always be human.