I attempted to get over you in a more childish manner.
Ignoring all my feelings and assuming that going through the motion of not feeling my emotions will help my heart get over this.

I failed.
I lost myself in the process and drowned in toxic.
I tried to stay afloat but my mind kept telling me I’m being deluded and that everything in me is sick.
I kept excluding my mind and I kept including my hearts messy ways.

I know what love like you means.
It’s a complete beauty of all things pure and addicting.
And as I had every single dose of you, I couldn’t imagine...
I can’t even say.

Regardless of what couldn’t be it became my reality.
Pulling me down and forcing me to run away from sobriety.
Clashing my very form of solitude to what society classes me as.

I chased the toxic and high that was supposed to make me forget you.
But distant flashbacks of you brought me back to my depression.

I’m not saying you are the reason behind it.
But remember my mental state wasn’t doing so hot yet you managed to cool bits of it.

I attempted to get over you in the worst way possible.
And now.
I’m trying a more cleaner state.

It’s not an attempt.
More of a clearer better way to be away from you.
I promise you I’ll be happy