I had a fantasy where I cried, sobbed, in front of a room full of people
left, came back, and then explained,
it’s ok, I cry when I’m happy too
and last night I had a dream I watched an animal-human hybrid
bleed to death in a shallow body of water

and nowadays I wake up in the morning and lie there hoping there’s been a mistake

and it didn’t used to be like this,
I can’t put my finger on it, sweetheart, but it wasn’t like this

nowadays nothing coming from my body feels right,
like I open my mouth and the spit is dark yellow,
the words are yellow-brown, the breath is yellow-green,
thoughts soft like rotting fruit,
when I sleep, I feel the flies on my eyelids

and it didn’t used to be like this
I can’t put my finger on it, sweetheart, but it wasn’t like this