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Oct 2019
You’re in pain
I know
Partially because I’m to blame
I’m why you sit in the dark replaying all your faults and all your mistakes
I’m why you’re remembering every “I love you” and picking out which is real and which is fake
And they’re all fake. Don’t ask me how I know. That’s just the way it is
See, I wanted to love you, but I didn’t want the burden that comes with it
The burden of carrying something more special than my hands were made to hold
So when I’m done repenting, I’ll turn over my life for you to scold
But you’re not going to. You’re going to hug me and say it’s okay
You're going to say that you love me and I can't change that, no matter what I say
Because it’s who you are. Perfection at its finest
Next to your kindness is me, a shadow in my wrong
Knowing that I feel for you, even when my shortcomings feel long
I know you feel for me too. You love the code to your destruction
I bring balance. In some twisted way, you need me to function
I knew that, and yet I watched you blindly walk on the road to your innocent love’s end
I watched you dance in the dark. I saw you fall in love with heartbreak’s friend
I knew it didn't have to be like that. I knew I had a flexible position
Instead. I denied my love for you, and for your emotional death, I started the ignition
I'm sorry that I said I loved only her and not you
It’s just that my love was blinded by another
She dried my tears. You healed the wounds in my mind. Somehow neither the perfect lover
I let you meet the friendly stranger. The one known for its addicting danger
But that’s what you like, and that’s what you desire
Beautiful liar
You go deeper in the water and you love messing with fire
8/24/2019
Aléa Boodoo
Written by
Aléa Boodoo  17/F
(17/F)   
139
 
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