This pencil necked geek
did hair thru the long grapevine
actually following false tidbit
originated within imagination i.e. mine,
while stationed at Macbook Pro
laptop - time already inching close

to hour of rise and shine
yikes still no ****** poem,
though with futility, I keep try'n
past bewitching hour, where body,
now incumbent to get supine
hours after taking warm shower

feeling gloriously, exceptionally,
comfortably, admirably... relaxed,
when captain my captain asinine
idea arose with futility to opine
albeit, ludicrous, outrageous, ridiculous...
carafe out loud if you dare

boot... be ready to make beeline
hive got muppet Hen son powers divine,
no matter yours truly drones design,
nonetheless me thought wine
not share blurb nsync with tickle me Elmo,
who awaits at intersection,

where Sesame Street crosses Pine
unless scariest beastly monster appears
sending shivers, viz small cilia along spine,
though profound this ain't,
only with collusion will
yours truly resign.

In toto now attempt made
to explain primary peculiar poetic bent
composed by vested apoplectic gent,
no matter mental energy he spent
dashing off above irrelevant "ine"
cuz he reached wits end to explain cogent

initial following crux not tangent
to preceding ****** effort in vain spent
devoid of sense, sensibility, or amusement,
thus no continuity despite fervent
effort made to stitch seamlessly
all above, and what comprises rhyming content
all I ask... please be tolerant and lenient.

Symbiotic microbial organisms dwell
within shirt collars interstitial spaces... expel
microscopic pincers to grab well
anchored, harried, styled... hair follicles
constituting tough protein called keratin
poised to strike back, minus stray, tell
tale loose strands easily retract

within scalp pulled tortoise shell,
subsequently scurry pell mell
even those thickly coated with Brylcreem gel
yea, those slippery hard to grab yell
low orange strands with
hair raising pluck subsequently fell
eventually baldly snagged, tugged, uprooted...

formerly hirsute bigwig(s) kvell
issue hair reed clangorous rebel yell
denuded pate(s) appear(ed) shiny and swell,
and resembled see thru billiard ball
clearly (self evidently)
lacking substance within hollowed shell.

Lemme resume kick starting
purported poem neigh
no more stalling, hesitating, fumfering... okay,
thus without further delay
imagine whichever prez
comes to mind standing
about six foot three, and
approximately doth weigh
two hundred and fifty pound orangutan

hood doth don orange-blond "fake" toupee
pensively jabbering, issuing, harrumphing...
(analogous to first Chinese brother
who swallowed the sea)
initially gesticulating comically, then furiously,
and finally impossibly loosed ocean at bay
no chance for treasure hunters to get away.