I woke up this morning
And when I felt stomach pain
I hoped my kidneys were failing
When I went to sleep last night
I had hoped that would be the last time
I would have to close my eyes
I rewrote all my letters
Slid them into their envelopes
And sealed them
I cleaned up my room
And thought about what people would think
About the quotes and art on my wall
I gave up on
keeping track of how many times
I swallowed those white pills
I walked through my brother’s room
Looking at the facades
he so carefully tacked on his walls
When I woke up this morning
I just laid back down
When I realized I was still alive
I can’t even manage
To properly kill myself
Damn, I’m pathetic
As I rode my bike this morning
I looked up at the stars
And I started to tear up
All I could see
Was an empty sky
The stars have become static
I wish I hadn’t woken up this morning