I woke up this morning
And when I felt stomach pain
I hoped my kidneys were failing

When I went to sleep last night
I had hoped that would be the last time
I would have to close my eyes

I rewrote all my letters
Slid them into their envelopes
And sealed them

I cleaned up my room
And thought about what people would think
About the quotes and art on my wall

I gave up on
keeping track of how many times
I swallowed those white pills

I walked through my brother’s room
Looking at the facades
he so carefully tacked on his walls

When I woke up this morning
I just laid back down
When I realized I was still alive

I can’t even manage
To properly **** myself
****, I’m pathetic

As I rode my bike this morning
I looked up at the stars
And I started to tear up

All I could see
Was an empty sky
The stars have become static

I wish I hadn’t woken up this morning