i wish i were a chemist,
so that i could hypothesize
& limit my attempts &
my experiments in futility

so that maybe, I could
tell you that your mere
presence was a catalyst
to my volatile elements

provoking reactions,
left & right, endless
explosions in my head
& mostly, in my chest

or that you tasted like a
antidote to the mundane
bringing me back from
this quiet complacence

i could drink your tonic,
swallow your smoke,
& devour your scraps
like a starving bulimic

or how your poison
made me slip, drip like
mercury, through your
skillful & soft fingertips

like sodium, this persistent
salt that refuses to quit
from my veins, a reserve
remains after the detox

or why i would oscilliate
between the alkaline &  
the acidic, never quite
stabilizing at a safe degree

if i had know all this,
i would not have played
alchemist, concocting
a worthless elixir of life