I’m a little queasy right now
As I avoid looking at the needle
And when it penetrates my skin
The direct pain last one second
But the mental war has been going for days
In anticipation
And the sting is still there
And the smell of disinfectant is stuck in my nose.
And as long as the queasiness lasts
The possibilities stand
Of fainting
With seizures
Or throwing up
Or the head splitting migraines
So I lie down
Waiting
Waiting for the queasiness to go
For the headache to leave
And the possibilities to fade
It’s hard to remember that it’s for good
Helping the future me
When my arm is numb
Feeling like I’m growing faint