endless worry assaults me
pushes me to the ground
I struggle for clarity for purpose
darkness and turmoil surround me
focus and drive elude me
why can't I be like you
why do I struggle for dedication
I look at you all you work you do
panic fills me, anxiety strikes shame... shame
The dark inside calls out insidious
leave it all, stop the struggle
the darkness invites, entices
tears flow, why, can I not find it
the purpose, the drive, it eludes me
I struggle, I flail, no island no refuge
how long can I hold on, resist, how long