I’m spiraling again,
back into the folds of my illness.
I can see the signs,
I can feel the degradation of my mind.
I know the things i’m doing are destructive,
but they are the things keeping me alive.
The things keeping me alive now,
will be the things that destroy me later.
They will come back to bite me.
They will destroy my body,
more than i could do with my bare hand.
I’m in a downward spiral,
and i don’t have the strength,
to bring myself back up.