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we're the girls

we're the girls, we're the girls, we're the girls. one time, he asked to finger me. and i said no. but it's my fault. it's my fault. we were at his house. originally, he had asked to just eat me out. he asked me do i remember the time he had wanted to do it before, i said yeah, i remember, but i need to pee. i'll piss in your mouth. haha. okay, so can i finger you instead? no, i'd rather you not, but he persisted. come onnnnn!! please? okay, so yes. i said yes. that is was fine. i told him i was alright with it. he doesn't know what he did. he doesn't know what he did. did i want it? no! but i did say yes. that means he's innocent. it's my fault. we were playing minecraft. i asked can i go to the restroom, he said yeah, so i headed upstairs. his parents were home. i could have asked for help. the deed was done. i had asked him to stop- it hurt- so he eventually did. i was in pain. we're still friends. we're the girls, we're the girls, we're the girls. summer going in to 8th grade. my boyfriend liked to touch me... a lot. he was always really mean to me. i'd beg him to stop, but a nervous laugh always followed. he never took me seriously. the abuse continued until i finally gained the courage to break up with him. we're the girls, we're the girls, we're the girls. half the school has seen me naked. i don't know how to say no. my body doesn't feel like mine anymore. all yours, for you to take advantage of. we're the girls, we're the girls, we're the girls. i have an eating disorder that tears me apart piece by piece. i just want to be perfect so you will LOVE ME. there's nothing more to me than a disgusting, rotting, body. we're the girls, we're the girls, we're the girls. one night, i chugged vodka until i vomited all over the carpet at etc coffee house. i just wanted to feel okay. we're the girls, we're the girls, we're the girls. my sister got raped in the closet next to my room. i thought she was just having sex. i got in the shower so i didn't have to hear the noise. i could have gone in there and stopped him. we're the girls, we're the girls, we're the girls. one time in middle school, i cut myself and someone reported it to the guidance counselor. i begged her not to tell my mom so she never did. we're the girls, we're the girls, we're the girls. i told my friend that i got sexually assaulted. he made jokes about it and laughed. i went home and cried. we're the girls, we're the girls, we're the girls.
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Written by
spitpuppy
16 / M / bumfuck-nowhere, kentucky
For You?
s
Written by
spitpuppy
16 / M / bumfuck-nowhere, kentucky
Published
Sep 24, 2019
Lines·Words
65·485
Notes

help

me

Tags
#sad#depression#sexualassault#rape#hurt#ptsd#trauma#saveme
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