And not for Nancy, even though I know she had opened this letter. I never felt welcomed one bit into your family ever. I only write to you Clarence.
It’s only because you were the only one that would open up and listen for a change. You did talk your **** at times but at least with me, you would shut the hell up and listen, unlike the holly hell going on at your house. I think you know at least reason and respect at least and that’s why I liked talking to you.
I loved Charlie to death. I still do. My life really hadn’t been the best without him. We were young but wanted to go to places. Do you remember how that felt like being young and wanting to go out and explore? I know you do and it’s probably one of the reasons you enjoy hunting and fishing if you still do.
I really just wished that mine and Charlie’s mom got along. Wasn’t going to happen. Nancy likes to be a strong woman and so does my mom. I remember one night when me and Charlie were still in high school that he asked me out for a dinner and a movie. During that date, Charlie yelled at his mother and was disrespectful. It kind of scared me. I actually broke it off with him.
My mother asked about Charlie and I told her I broke it off. She said well don’t you think his feelings were hurt? I really did consider his feelings. I really did and I talked to him again at school. I told him how I felt and he listened and actually apologized. Well we got back together and you know the rest of the story.
Nancy was very overbearing and would never give me a chance at anything. I love to cook, but I am a vegetarian. Just because I choose to be a vegetarian doesn’t mean I don’t know how to do anything in the kitchen. Would you actually care to eat something delicious that was different?
I remember being in your living room and Bill Clinton had made a speech that his life of infidelities was no ones business. You spoke up to that television and agreed. From what your children and relatives say, you do have wisdom in-spite of your 8th grade education.
I was told you did try to pass the GED a few times and gave up. At least you did try. Charlie told me once that I would never be able to graduate and not even by my 21 birthday. I guess when he passed away I made that my challenge and succeeded it and with honors and a scholarship. I did invite you all but I know you couldn’t come to my graduation.
It was important to me. I really just don’t understand why our families couldn’t get along. It’s all water under the bridge really but just so very sad how everything ended. I tried to reach out to Claire about 8 or 9 years ago. She just told me off. She said I’m the reason for everything and much more. That hurt a lot.
Joey is doing so good. He is finishing his last year at his school. Everyone is so proud of him and you would be too. He looks so much like Charlie. I just hope and pray everyday that everyone can find peace and happiness. I would think that’s what my Charlie angel would want. Love always and take care.