After four years of not speaking
Hearing
Listening
Feeling
Looking
For you
I saw you today and wondered for a bit
How this long road stretched farther after that
How my breathing got heavier
How my eyes started to dampen
How my hair began to undo it self
How the light kept getting into my eyes
How I kept tripping on my way home
My shoulders started to weigh more
My head heavy
My sorrow more
I sit on the other side of the front door for minutes, hours, maybe even days not noticing  time move
Always feeling the same way I was when I was next to you
I whisper to myself
“You don’t know how lucky you are”