it wasn’t real. It was! Just because
you couldn’t see it, or hold it in
your arms. Just because it was tiny,
and unrecognizable and stopped

developing doesn’t mean it didn’t
exist. It did. It had a name. It had
a place in my heart. It had a home. It
started out the same as all the others that

you see. It was a tangible part of me. And
when I lost it I lost everything. There is
no cemetery to go to visit it. There was no
recognizable mourning process. I had to

do that alone.  It had a date to be born. It never
made it. It was taken too soon, though I saw
its little heart beating on the monitor. And I
bought the bassinet and cleared out a room

for her, like expectant mothers do. So, don’t tell
me she wasn’t real. She was. She was as real
as my two sons.