It’s been a few years that most of my words have been centered around your existence
It seems like having you in my life has given me the voice I wish I had sooner

It seems that your presence evokes emotions that I would be oblivious to, had I not met you.

I’m still trying to figure this out.

I’m trying to make sense of why you’re so important. I thought I had it all figured out but I’m so tied to you that detaching would leave me more tangled than the ties I have to you

This seems like a deep hurt, and a heavy pain
It seems like I’ve been held against my will
It seems like I am captive to the beauty of your essence

If anything, this has been a rollercoaster of emotions. Too many seasons have passed, and when Fall came, we fell too.

I tripped over fairytales, and you tripped over reality. On your way down, I guess you dragged me down with you. I say that because a fairytale love is better than the “reality love” because reality makes us conscious of situations rather than each other’s presence. Fairytale love makes us oblivious to situations with intentions of hopefully not encountering hiccups along the way, but change of seasons are usually accompanied with sickness, so hiccups are bound to slow us down every now and then, but never forever.

You have been the reason that I get through most seasons. You’ve been answered prayers in your speech, and in your silence. You have been lessons. I have learned. I keep learning.

What I fail to understand is how two people that fall, stand up together. I fail to understand how the base of our bond was centered around being a safe space for each other, and when it matters most, the cold feet season seeps in and you get jittery about your insecurities, almost like you never nurtured mine.

I get scared too
Everyday, to be honest
I’m scared that I won’t be enough to keep you intrigued. I get scared that I won’t be able to keep up. I get scared that I might have to live life without you being a part of it. I get scared that I will have to wake up next to my second choice, knowing deep down that you are my one and only.

I think I get it
When things are going good, we get scared
Culture has taught us that too much of a good thing is bad for you. I can assure you, I’m not all good. I have issues, as do you. I make mistakes, as do you. I am fragile, as you are. We’re both clumsy.

I can hear the glass breaking already
I can see the mess on the kitchen floor of our fragile house - if you thought we were the glasses, then I guess you don’t see us past what we’ve unknowingly built.

Welcome home...?