I refuse to, but
I want to drink very much at the moment
There is something about the dulling of my senses that helps make me feel more present
Finally, not feeling overstimulated
Distracted by my own morbid imagination
I just want to be normal
And sometimes it feels like it's the magic potion
But I know it's really poison
So I refuse to sip
(But goodness can I hear that clock tick, reminding me of every moment I waste white knuckling through the present)