I can hear everyone in the back having a gay old time
So this wouldn't be the best time to lash out right now
but I cant help it tonight
I already lost my shoes somewhere in this wretched house
I wanna get out of this heavy dress
its scratchy and probably going to give me a rash later
strip away all the gold and pearls from my skin
Kick away the **** dress till its a heap of crumpled up material
expensive, useless and insignificant
Take off every **** bobby pin that's stuck to my scalp right now and chuck them on the floor till I am standing in the middle of a black pool of pins
Smash out all the twinkly lights till I can only hear my self breath in the dark
Sit and wait for some unknown but strong force to swallow me into the ground
take me underground to a new universe
one that I have only imagined maybe about 100 times in my dreams and absent mindedly continue to sketch in my many sketch books
I don't want to face these people anymore
their ugly grinning faces
the stupid photos
Smile and wave
but don't give the finger
Continue to pretend that I am thrilled to be hosting this **** party
to celebrate his success or something equally stupid
Being happy is too much work
Being happy for him is too much work
I would settle for indifferent tonight!