no one understands that I have nothing to gain
no one understands how it feels to slowly go insane
to have panic attacks so bad that I can't breathe
no one understands the pain I feel in my chest
Like I'm infested with a disease
diseases ****
No one understands the tears that fall down to the floor
until I can't cry anymore
My eyes are drained just like my soul
my soul is a hole, a pitch black hole in the universe that can't be filled with love
its too scared of love, I'm too scared of love
I find myself on the ground with a bottle of pills in my hand
Pills that I took like tic tacs
now the clock tic tacking away until the day..is gone
They will scream and they'll ask me why I did it
and I will smile like I have fishhooks in the corners of my mouth
i will tell them it's okay to fly into the sky with fearless wings
the scars on my arms will tell the story they are so curious about
my scars will tell them how my life is like a personal hell
I never got to choose to either live or die
I never got that choice
I'm in so much pain
18 years worth of pain is unbearable and yet here I am
I am a burden to the people around me
I want it to be over