I am a scared whole new girl
This is who I am, then...

I haven't seen you yet,
and I haven't seen myself
but this is an anticipation
of what you might get

First things first:
I never went to Sweden with him
but my dreams still live,
whoever wants to, can join me

My man left me; I left him after
I became queen Gertrude, and it felt good...
It takes courage to do what you must do

I am not all addicted to his drugs no more
I am kicking the vice...and I have a new one
***** the tears and the pain I had
It just takes new shapes, is he willing to abide?
I am taking a chance, I am moving on
I am happy - although I don't really know

I know only 4 months have passed
what you'll find is a different lass
(I am closer to me in every step I take and
my crazy style ain't going ever away)
but a lot more...grown up, about to crash
about to explode
like fireworks in the sky
like overheated dynamite

But I enjoy the blows I'm given
I am scared as ****, but that won't make me
ever stop

And I am ready to join you again
Because I am not obsessed
with making friends this year
I don't think as much as I did:
that's a strong point for me

This wasn't planned at all
but sometimes life plots ahead
showing you what it is about
but rarely letting you down

I sign off; I do not know
what you will find
but you will find something better
than I was last time
Uncertainty at its peak
But I can put up with it

Psychotic Poetess (you don't really know
who I am)