nostalgia
generally seen as a good thing
reminiscing about better, simpler times
your heart trembles just thinking about them
while you stare off into space
unaware of the present
you think back
of all the things you did wrong
everything you should have done
it comes back to haunt you
how you could have reacted correctly
how one moment changed your life now
like retracing your steps
all the way back
but there are no footprints to go off of
just memories
and the bitter feeling that accompanies them
in the deepest darkest confines of your mind
and the sensation of all that disappointment from back then
you can feel it
physically
taking hold of you
your stomach twists
your appetite is no more
paralyzed
in a place long gone
by events that have never happened
in a vicegrip
it's like the butterfly effect in reverse
a perpetual "what if..."
nostalgia
not so beautiful
anymore