flashbacks make me nervous
not daring to go further
knowing what is underneath the surface
lurking right around the corner

terrified of what my mind holds
about the secrets that I keep
about what thoughts could unfold
when my soul falls deeply into sleep

I am running out of distractions
finding the only way
to not feel insane
is to walk barefoot in the rain

circles of obsession
always coming back to you
so many nightmares in succession
what has my world come to?

we never were in love
how could we have been, really?
with no trust, respect or security
full of lust, but lacking peace or understanding

with all of everything that happened
just like a tornado
destroying everything in its path
and left with no where to go

I feel I should know better
most certainly by now
but something still keeps creeping up
those circles going around...

I wish I knew just what it was
that keeps on coming back
when there was nothing good you brought
your heart nothing but black

part of me will never be able to forget
not without lack of trying
you will always have that piece of me
that seems to be frozen in time

it is all I can do not to wake up screaming
have only ever been blinded by tears
telling myself nothing is what it seems
but still faced with the sheer fear of searing pain

I am careful with my movements
as to not rock the boat
as if I am still on water
as if I am still filled with hope

I would have never been able
to see things the way they are now
but at least I am finally stable
I always find a way somehow.