When I was younger I popped pills
Handed out baggies with tabs and stems
Snatched twenties by the handful
From a wallet of someone I barely knew
Yet told to call her Mother
Therapy didn’t teach me anything
But to make sure homework was turned in
They didn’t catch the bottles I hid
Under my pillow late at night beside the butcher knife
Happiness was only in the movies
And occasionally in my dreams as I drifted off seven pills deep
If I slept long enough I didn’t have to listen to the screams
No pain inflicted if I didn’t do what was demanded with the demons
Hunger didn’t exist so it was okay there was no food
As long as I was asleep
Never knowing when I would wake and no one cared to check
I slept on floors of peoples’ homes I never learned their names
Just emptied my bag and took the capsules they had
Falling asleep yet again
I was numb to the bad **** my friends were going through
One was ***** and another used as an object at thirteen
But the people didn’t seem that mean
They let me sleep another day away
No one noticed I overdosed.. not an eye fluttered when I didn’t wake up the next morning after that one bad day at school
... or through the day
... then that evening I woke up like it was nothing but a long nap
Throwing up blood, I chose to never take a pill again
Even if that meant I never got to sleep again
, though I took random pills from people when I could at school
I never lost control
I just wanted a ******* escape.
Replacing my sleep with tv shows
The lives of people I wanted to be
Escaping my reality