My back
Is tied
in knots

Each nerve-ous
Connection screams
As they unravel

The first time
It’s touched
It sends
Shock-waves
Through me

As if it were
Afraid of
It’s own ability
to unwind

It is pressed
pushed
And pulled

In vain
Attempts
To fix
Me

But it simply
Sends more shocks

With each rotation
You feel the crunch
You feel the crack
Under the pressure

You feel your muscles
Creak
As they stretch

You feel your tendons
Pop
As they bend

The pain screams
No
No
No

But you know
The pain
Is wrong

If you never
Suffer the pain
It takes to fix this
You’ll never know

The relief of
What it feels
Like when the
weight
Is finally gone

When you can
Be touched
Without flinching

When you can be held
And have one less reason
to cry

Sometimes pain is needed
To fix old trauma

And pain is still pain

But as tangled as I am
I would try anything
To unsnarl myself

-knots (massage therapy)