Got lost in the tavern,
Alcohol tendencies becoming patterns.
Sipping, tripping, brawling just like my family matters.
Young kid bruised and battered.
By father.
Got asked if I want to talk about it once.
I said don’t bother.
Now I’m that drunken father.
****.
But I forget that fact as soon as I grab another bottle.
Drowning my pain.
Hoping it all goes away.
But it never does.
Telling my son that he won’t understand my pain.
But then again.
I’m never around.
I’m never sober.
I’m always angry.
And that anger gets transferred.
Into my life and relationships.
Just like my dad.
Who said I didn’t understand his pain.
But I did feel pain.
Every day he wasn’t there.
So maybe you do understand.
And I like my dad I wasn’t listening.
I’ll try to get clean.
But it’s difficult.
And right now I just can’t let go.
But I’ll take those 12 steps to help me let go.