Does it matter to anyone what I feels...
I don’t know when I stopped to feel...
Some may feel I’m cold and distant...
I won’t show my weakness...
It’s a decision I made...
They thought that I’m emotional less....
My mom asked once... can’t you cry ... to make it better...
But I was hardened by the betrayals...
I was not ready to cry...
But they didn’t know that I was crying inside....

They never thought of me when their ***** hands touched me...
They never thought of me as a kid...
Who knows nothing other than that you are family...

When I started to realise the wrongness...
Years has passed...
I was afraid...
I didn’t know what to feel...

I started to hate myself...
I thought feelings are for the purest...
As I have become dirtiest...
I thought love is not for me...
I couldn’t found the courage to love...

I got married to you...
You didn’t know that I cried...
When we first made love...
I thought it was my fate...
There were so many nights
Where you made me feel
That I m nothing more than this...

And still I started to love you...
Only to know that you are having an affair...
You don’t know how much it broke my heart...
We fought... but in the end it was all my fault...

That’s when I started to harden my heart again...
To never expect anything from you...
I’m still with you...
But my heart...
It doesn’t belongs to anyone...

I’ll live... l’ll smile...
But in the end I know I’m alone...

So my feelings... it doesn’t matter...
Because I forgot to feel ...