this feeling is familiar, I've felt a touch like this once before, his kiss has a bell to it. I'm comfortable in these arms... my mind is wondering, this is like a dream, you're finally with me again. I feel content within. everything is okay until I open my eyes, it's not you. Maybe if I close them again and imagine it is, it will stop my train of thought from crashing into an abyss.

everything is calm now, he's asleep, as I'm wide awake. I stare at who I thought would be a good idea, my head begins to race, I can't look at him because I don't want that pit in my stomach, but he looks so pretty sleeping next to my white curtains. It's 2 am and I realize I need to sleep, the dark, emptiness that comes after resting my eyes shut, is eery. Maybe if I look at pictures and videos of who we used to be, it will ease my mind. wrong. I went to sleep that night with a tear dried on my face and a sore neck. never again I told myself, and never again I meant.


That night I had learned that I needed time alone. And since then I've been nothing but alone. and I'm happy for that, some just don't need others,