Be a Better Man

I’m struggling trying to be a better man
explain my pain so my mom will understand
why her baby boy has felt alone for years
smiling in her face but inside I’m all tears
I’m depressed & a mess, yea i confess
I can’t go a day without being depressed
tried to overdose but it never would work
cause i can’t see my mom crying til her soul hurts
I got women coming in my life tryna show me affection
but I’m stuck in the past getting over aggression
from dealing with someone who i thought was a blessing
only to be left in the dirt, guess that’s where i was destined
for since I’m never placed first or at least second
Sleeping around just isn’t my thing, that’s only to hide the truth
& many say they want me but i never see the proof
I’m just tryna be a better man so my kids will understand
how their father made it thru hell & still here i stand
Not perfect by any means nor do i aim to be
just trying to do right & what’s best for me
Don’t wanna cry no more, don’t wanna fly no more
Don’t wanna hate myself, i just wanna love me more
And my apologies to the women who’ve tried their best to show me
that I’m an amazing guy, I’m learning now but slowly
see i was blinded by the pain so i only saw the flaws
so I’m catching myself, God please don’t let me fall
just show me the real me & heal me from what makes me feel empty
I just wanna love myself cause i know I’m my biggest enemy